The summer of 2019 will always be remembered for breathing in each moment and taking away with it fond-family memories. Making the most of our summer days playing under the Sun, inching our way closer to Juniour Kindergarten. A fresh new beginning into a brand new school start was just around the corner, for me it was filled with mystery and anticipation. With butterflies swirling my stomach weeks before, counting down the days hoping and praying for a great school year. With nail biting nerves creeping into the wee hours of the nights, as I attempted to organize and prepare every bit of new information, finding everything just to impossible to predict. Realizing that seeking out the veteran Moms for answers to many of my rookie questions was my best bet into mastering the clues of school, where I have no clue, though such fascination!
The excitement was a nice change for me, being a mature Mom, you can guess that I was a bit overdue in the the thrill of a new school start. With thoughts of my son making new friends, meeting new teachers, and being as behaved, as he possibly can be expected to. I hope and prayed throughout the summer that the school year would be welcomed with hard work, satisfaction, fun and a big bag full of joy, maybe even a great report card in November? My best hope is that we survive all this new energy, together-STILL! Learning that I am still an important aspect to this new threshold in my sons life. Logan of course jumped right in!
While meeting and speaking to the teachers and parents, I hone in on the school structure, the regulations and a few important dates. Eyes wide, stepping in closer, tuning in with my ear tilted; leading me. With my Mom concentration zoning in on the facts of school life. With my keen listening skills moving into the groups of other parents, with extra focus! I try to take in and gather information rather quickly and intensley about the do’s and don’ts, learning the new rules of the classroom and about what is to be expected of not only my Son, but me as well. Learning that I am still a big part of his growth at school even while at home. I am here to manage this gravitation to everything he will experience, every part of his learning. Not just to sort out his lunches (a huge new development in understanding in my house). Prepping him for a world of knowledge, matching his behaviour with the same guidelines, ruled by his teachers. As we puzzle our way from day to day, the excitement is welcomed, not feared, accepted and not jaded. All though i’m a bit bewildered, I am in love with the fact that not only did I pray very hard for my son and family, I prayed that I could watch him grow, to this, I am doing, and very thankful that I am!
His first day was the most exciting, out of bed, lunches carefully packed, dressed in new outerwear fit for the first day of school, with far too many choices in snacks and thirst remedies. I had a ball picking out Logan’s first pair of school shoes. They had to be comfortable, suitable, sustainable and easy to get on and off. The joy of me shoe shopping was not met with equal amounts of enthusiasm, as Logan “temper-tantrumed” his way around the department store. I brushed this quivery moment aside as I jumped up and down, finding a pair that may or may not last; couple of months, if? Logan asking me days later “Mom, why are you so excited about a pair of shoes anyway?” There was just no explaining that they were his brand new school shoes, and they had to bedazzle!
The Online-Offline Shop
Josh Products India 2018 European LED lighted Patch unisex girls boys shoes Cool cute baby sneakers cool casual toddlers glitter baby casual shoes
Sure he didn’t want to hold my hand walking him to his very first class, I’ve heard it shows independence, well something like that anyway. I was happy to see him make a few new friends already on the playground, as the parents stood in anticipation seemingly stalking their children from the sidelines, not making themselves quite known. As we all made triple sure that our very keen kids walked and not ran into perhaps the wrong class, with the right teacher as opposed to a grade six classroom, with Mrs. Millar instead of Mr. Harlow. “Few they’re in!” I saw all of the more inexperienced Moms and Dads show a sense of sorrow, while the more experienced ones run off to find their freedom again, perhaps? I watched Logan enter his classroom, as I hummed a goodbye, and yes I was choked up. Knowing though, that Logan will love learning so much and enjoy being surrounded by all of the kids with so much attention on fun and play that this thought far overshadowed any feelings of sadness that surely, I held in.
Picking Logan up from school, now this adventure is a bit of a mis-shape in how I first pictured it. Hoping that my Son who was so eager for school, to play with the kids and learn Math and other such things. Thinking that he would be just as eager to come running out to give his mom a huge hello hug, maybe a kiss, as we skipped along hand in hand to the car, to go and have a warm cup of hot chocolate as he tells me all about his grand day and how he was the most behaved in his class. That was how I imagined it. The terror that followed will sit with me and my sinking heart, i’m sure for some time. Instead the very kind teacher luring Logan out from the classroom, expressing “It’s home time” opening the door for his escape to run towards me, she points at me; “There’s your Mom Logan, she’s here to take you home, goodbye Logan!” Waiting for my warm embrace, I see Logan’s face turn rapidly from eager to quite unhappy! Screaming “I don’t want to go home, I don’t like you anymore Mom, I want to stay here, I am not going home!” Now, having his own set of friends I know is much more appealing to any kid. Logan being an only child with mature parents of 43 and 47, I knew already my son was a “kid magnet” and I realize that playing with other kids out ranks me and his Dad on so many levels. Hoping this is just what they call “a passing phase”. That he will soon out grow his contempt towards me and home time, we shall see? I will be praying for this, prayers are welcomed here, so please add this to your prayer list if you may?
Still today with a full mix of nervousness and butterflies, it marks the day of his very first school bus ride. Wondering if he will be scrambling off of the bus later when I pick him up to greet him from school with the same ill temper. Though I did freakishly hop on the bus along with him, wanting another wave goodbye, when the bus driver told me sternly “No you have to go now” I smile bashfully, hollering in my sweet Mom voice towards him, where I only saw the tip of his hat, “OK bye hunny, have a nice day!” As I jump off the bus, a bit over zealous in making sure he found a proper seat.
Out this morning with my very first experience of getting Logan on the bus, as I gather around with many of the more experienced mothers and fathers, leaning in again, hoping to gain knowledge in bus riding etiquette. Later today, as he gears up to hop off the bus, I will be waiting. Though my expectations have changed from a warm greeting, as we skip home together hand in hand, to at least a “Hello mom, without turning away from me in angst” As far as he is concerned I have been replaced with his new playmates. I’m sure his screams had frightened the other parents, though they totally felt my sadness as one sweet mother piped up, “There is no judgement here!” Fluberring about with my awkward smile, I explain to all of the parents with their poor hurt ears from my sons loud sobs; “You see he is a kid magnant and he just loves kids so much, you see that’s the reason for his haltering screeches and fits about not wanting me anymore, you see he feels that his new friends can replace me perfectly, err gulp!” No judgment! 😉
As my visions of us skipping along together hand in hand are tossed right out the school bus window, as I brew up the hot chocolate anyhow (just in case), probing for questions about his school day and all that he learned. Though, for the record, Logan later did tell me that he’s very sorry for saying that he doesn’t want me anymore, saying “he loves me”, then he did give me a hug and and a couple of kisses in the warmth and comfort of our own home. The moment was just for us, it was quiet, tender and meaningful. Without a doubt, this memory I will replace instead of the terror that I saw forming on his face the first couple days, when he learned it was time now to go home!
While I am learning so much about my little independent Son and much more then I expected about letting go, realizing that we all let go a little bit each day. Where I can only hope and pray that he knows his mommy loves him, that I always will no matter how old, that throughout all of the stages in life that we pursue together or apart, that his mommy will always miss him, learning that we just can’t freeze time. We can though take in each breath and enjoy each moment together, making one great day, into a great life, with cherished childhood memories that Logan can take with him as he goes forward, hoping he misses me sometimes too. As I fumble sometimes as his mature mom, fully intending to give him the best life from his start to his finish.
“On second thought, perhaps I’ll just ask HIS DAD to meet LOGAN getting off the school bus today, it may save me many tears of sheepish torment and apologetic embarrassment.” “MOMMY MISSES ME” http://www.mommymissesmee888.wordpress.com
AND THE WINNER IS…
CONGRATULATIONS TO FRANCINE GAUTHIER! A VERY SWEET PERSON AND SOUL WHO ENTERED AND WON THE CONTEST FOR MY BOOK OF POEMS “I DREAM IN POETRY.” FRANCINE IS A BIG SUPPORTER OF MOMMY MISSES ME WITH SUCH GRACIOUS AND NEEDED ADVICE FOR THIS NEWBIE MOM. FRANCINE ENTERED BY COMMENTING ON MY LAST BLOG POST, SHE WAS THEN ENTERED TO WIN! I DREW HER NAME ON AUGUST 25TH TO WIN THE VERY FIRST OFFICIAL MOMMY MISSES ME CONTEST! THANK YOU FRANCINE FOR SUCH A SPECIAL COMMENT.
“A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO HINA SYED WHO ALSO HAD SUCH VALUABLE MOM ADVICE TO SHARE WITH ME. HINA HAS BEEN A GREAT SUPPORT TO ME THROUGH MANY YEARS, WITH MANY THINGS AND ON THIS BLOG MOMMY MISSES ME!“
STAY TUNED FOR MORE CONTESTS, GIVEAWAYS, ADVENTURES AND MANY SPECIAL TREATS AHEAD FOR ALL OF MY READERS!